


The Secret Studies

by ArkStationsLibrary



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Sirius Black, Original Characters - Freeform, Wizard War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:56:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6389167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArkStationsLibrary/pseuds/ArkStationsLibrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding out that the marauders are unregistered anamagi, Lily Evans asks James Potter for help in becoming one herself. And together the two begin helping their fellow classmates with the process as well. Because war is coming. And you never know when you might need to disappear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A spilling of secrets

**Author's Note:**

> And there is going to be a chapter two although I previously stated there wouldn't be. Things are complicated right now so we'll see where this goes.

Sirius Black had never run so fast or far in his life. "James!" he screeched through the Gryffindor dormitory. "Sodding James Potter!"

 

This itself was not an unusual occurrence. What was unusual was Lily Evans chasing after him with an angry but determined look on her face. "Black, you come back here right this minute! I'm warning you I will Bat Bogey hex you into oblivion if you don't!" 

 

Sirius races up the stairs to the boys rooms where James Potter sits at his desk attempting to write a charms essay. "JAMES!!" 

 

James looks up, knocking his bottle of ink everywhere. "MERLIN'S BEARD SIRIUS!" he glowers at his friend. "This had better be an emergency. "  
Gasping, Sirius manages to get out, "She-gasp-knows-gasp!" 

 

James's eyes widen. "She knows? How could she POSSIBLY know?" 

Sirius winces. "Well, she might have seen me transform." 

 

To his surprise James doesn't react right away. Instead, he sits there for a moment. But the glint in his eyes lets Sirius know that he's a dead man. "Padfoot, what was the one rule we agreed on?" 

 

"I know mate. I know. Never tell anyone about being ani-" 

 

"No, the other rule." 

 

Sirius's face falls. "Oh. Never let Lily see me naked." 

 

"Precisely," James said, "I can't compete with you naked. You know that. Us together naked is a different story. But just you well.... I am going to have to kill you. You do realize that?" His hands are shaking. 

 

At the moment before Sirius thinks his best friend is going to murder him Lily Evans bursts through the door. Sirius has never been more relieved or terrifed to see the red head.

"You're a bloody animagus!" she exclaims. 

 

The two boys look up, startled. "No we're not!" They say automatically. 

"Merlin's beard!" Lily exclaims. "You are BOTH animagus." 

 

James stands up from the desk. "Now, listen here Evans. It isn't for what you think. We didn't just do it for a stupid prank---" 

"Sometimes we do," Sirius chimes in.

James shoots him a glare causing him to shut up then turns his attention back to Lily. "We've been doing it to help a friend." 

 

"Remus," Lily says, "who is a werewolf."

 

The two gape at her. "How'd you know?" 

 

"He told me third year," Lily says, "after I figured it out on my own and confronted him about it." 

 

James nervously runs his hands through his messy, black hair. "Yes well. So you see why this needs to be kept a secret." 

 

"I'll keep it a secret. On one condition," Lily says, "there's a war coming on. Being an unregistered animagus could have benefits. Teach me." 

 

The two boys exchange looks. "What?" they say in unison. 

 

"Teach me," Lily repeats. 

 

James blinks and Sirius rubs his face in his hands. "Well, fuck."


	2. A deal is struck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James come to a compromise about her becoming an animagus. And come up with another brilliant idea as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Frank and Alice be head girl and head boy. Originally, I thought of putting one of the Prewett brothers in there but I wasn't certain if the time line fit. Hence Frank and Alice. Lily and Co. are in their sixth year. Sirius is bi however currently in a complicated relationship with Marlene. And someone else although that won't be revealed for a while I expect. There's a reason he was in the woods, after all.  
> Lily and James don't exactly "hate" each other. Though they're not friends given James's previous penchant for bullying Snape. It can best be described as a grudging respect for two students who are extremely gifted.  
> Lily also doesn't take his "crush" seriously for the same reason.  
> I was also stunned to find so many people liked the excerpts I'd been posting on tumblr (katefullergecko if you don't already follow). I didn't expect it to get noticed at all so I will be continuing. Just know that I'm currently in a bit of a personal crisis at the moment but I will update as soon as I possibly can.

Lily Evans did not consider most things strange anymore. After several years at Hogwarts, and growing up with a wizard as a best friend strange had almost lost meaning. However, one October morning Lily did experience the strangest thing she had witnessed in all of her years at Hogwarts. 

Lily was an early riser. As such, she took walks around the grounds. Sometimes with Hagrid. Sometimes by herself. That particular morning she took a walk by herself. Just on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. 

And it was there that she witnessed the strangest thing she had ever seen in all of her years as a witch. 

A black dog coming out of the dense trees that transformed into a very naked Sirius Black. 

She watched, frozen, as Sirius stretched, completely unaware of her. And he walked behind a tree where he retrieved a pile of clothes. 

Just as he had slipped on his boxers and jeans he saw her. Standing there. And froze, like a deer caught in the headlights. The sixteen year-old with his black hair, and grey eyes, had never looked more terrified. 

Lily blinked at him as he stood transfixed. “Sirius Black, what the hell was that?” she demands. 

Sirius runs his hands through his hair nervously. “Well, er, you see Lils….” Then before she can stop him he breaks into a run, half struggling to get his shirt on. 

Lily chases after him. 

She sprints through the castle all the way up to the Gryffindor tower, nearly losing him when he gets to the boy’s dormitory. But that doesn’t stop her. She bursts through the doors to see a relieved looking Sirius and an annoyed James Potter. 

"You're a bloody animagus!" she exclaims.

The two boys look up, startled. "No we're not!" They say automatically.

"Merlin's beard!" Lily exclaims as she looks between the two guilty looking teenage boys. "You are BOTH animagus."

James stands up from the desk. "Now, listen here Evans. It isn't for what you think. We didn't just do it for a stupid prank---"

"Sometimes we do," Sirius chimes in.

James shoots him a glare causing him to shut up then turns his attention back to Lily. "We've been doing it to help a friend."

 

"Remus," Lily says, "who is a werewolf."

 

The two gape at her. "How'd you know?"

 

"He told me third year," she says, "after I figured it out on my own and confronted him about it."

 

James nervously runs his hands through his messy, black hair. "Yes well. So you see why this needs to be kept a secret."

"I'll keep it a secret. On one condition," she tells them, "there's a war coming on. Being an unregistered animagus could have benefits. Teach me."

 

The two boys exchange looks. "What?" they say in unison.

 

"Teach me," she repeats.

 

James blinks and Sirius rubs his face in his hands. "Well, fuck."

The boys stand there for a very long time not saying a word. It’s James that seems to be having the most trouble with finding something to say. Lily isn’t the least bit surprised. He’s been infatuated with her in one way or another for years. She’s certain the last thing he wants is to get her involved with something illegal. 

Or something he might consider too dangerous for her. 

Lily takes a breath. “I know what you’re thinking. That I’m a girl and it’s too dangerous. Well, bullocks! I’m muggleborn. I should know how to protect myself. And becoming an unregistered animagus will only help in protecting me so don’t you dare tell me that I can’t do this because I am the smartest witch in our class and I will teach myself if I have to. Only it might be nice to have some help as I expect its quite difficult. And I know you might play the fool most days James but you’re actually quite smart and----“ 

James starts laughing, as does Sirius, causing her to pause mid-sentence. 

She puts her hands on her hips. “Oh come on. The idea of me becoming an animagus isn’t so funny! I am top of our class, thank you very much in everything but charms. And I’m still second there.” 

James puts his hands up. “I’m not laughing at that. I am laughing at the fact that Lily Evans, Gryffindor prefect, wants to do something highly dangerous and extremely illegal.” 

She crosses her arms over her chest. “You say that as if I’m an innocent.” 

He grins. “I would never accuse you of being innocent, Lily. However, I would have expected you to have more morals. You’re always on the side of the good. You once protested the use of mandrakes because you thought they were being tortured. Until you found out what a mandrake was.” 

Lily feels herself flush. “I was eleven. And muggleborn. How was I supposed to know they were terrible, little plants?” 

James pushes his glasses up his nose. “Are you sure you’re not going to turn us in?” 

“No. I expect that you’re doing this to help Remus somehow. And I wouldn’t want to hurt him. Although, if you keep on patronizing me I might.” 

James walks over and places a hand on her shoulder. In any other circumstance she would have been annoyed, but it was affectionate really. “I have the utmost faith that you can become an animagus if you want. But you do realize that you might end up in Azkaban if you get caught?” 

She shrugs. “I might end up there anyway. Or banished with the way things are going. You know what I am.” 

Sirius clears his throat. “Evans, if I ever hear you talking as though you are less than amazing because you are muggleborn I will personally zip your lips shut. Do you understand?” 

Lily smiles at him. “I appreciate the support, Black. But I’m trying to be practical. You’re sixteen years-old and you’ve both figured out how to do this without any of the teachers knowing.” 

“Actually, I’m fairly certain McGonagall knows,” James comments, “there was an incident with mandrake leaves that almost resulted in us getting detention which she mysteriously didn’t give.” 

The sixteen-year-old girl winces at the word ‘mandrake’. “Now you’ve got to be joking.” 

Both of the boys shake their heads. “You’ve got to keep it in your mouth for a whole month, Evans,” Sirius says, “a whole damn month. It was the longest month of our lives.” 

“Peter cried,” James remembers. 

“Wormtail cries at everything,” Sirius remarks. 

“Hey!” Lily objects. “He’s soft but Wormy’s got his points.” 

“We’re not knocking him,” James says, “those are just the facts. He did far better than any of us expected him to.” 

Lily smiles. “Well if Peter can do it I can too. With or without your help for that matter.” 

James and Sirius exchange looks again. She finds it annoying that they can seem to have an entire conversation without speaking. Finally, James looks her straight in the eyes. “Look, it isn’t up to us. Peter and Remus are part of this secret too. They’re just as likely to get arrested if we’re found out. It’s got to be a group decision, Evans. If they agree we’ll help you out. If not, I’m afraid you’ll be on your own.” 

Lily nods. “I suppose I can understand that.” 

Sirius steps forward. “But whatever happens Evans, please don’t rat us out. It’s not a lark for us. Remus was doing terrible having to go through those transformations alone. We can help him in our animal forms. And that’s all we’re doing. I swear on it.” 

Lily’s face softens. “Black, I won’t tell anyone. Remus is just as much my friend as he is yours. And I expect that Marlene might take issue if I got you arrested.” 

Sirius squints at her. “Marlene?” 

Lily raises her hands up, annoyed. “Don’t play dumb, Black. And I won’t be the go between. You two can sort whatever you are yourselves. I don’t care. Though, I do wish you’d be a bit quieter when you’re sneaking out of the dorms.” 

James glances at his friend. “You and McKinnon?” 

Sirius counts on his fingers. “For about five weeks now.” 

James high fives him. “Longest you’ve ever gone, mate. I’m proud.” 

“Yes well,” says Sirius, “she might kick me to the curb the moment I find a pretty bloke I want to shag too. But as it stands, I expect I’ll be out late again tonight.” 

“I’m hurt,” James pouts, “I thought we had plans.” 

“Well yes, my dear boy, but the Lady insists.” 

Lily snorts. “It’s cute you call her Lady. I’ll have to tell her you said that.” 

Sirius looks back at her as if just remembering that she is still in the room. “Now Evans, you wouldn’t do a thing like that to me would you?” 

Lily smirks. “See what you can do about helping me become an animagus then we’ll talk, Black.” 

Sirius scowls. “Prongs, you’ve atrocious taste in women. She’s too devious for her own good.” 

James chuckles. “You’ll get no sympathy from me, mate. One of the qualities I like about her actually,” and adds, “when it’s not directed at me.” 

There’s a long silence. Lily’s never quite certain what to say in these circumstances. They had not discussed the issue of his infatuation with her since last year after the lake incident. She’d always been quite certain that James used his “crush” as a way to irritate Severus. 

But something had changed over the summer. Though only October, James was less obnoxious about it. He held open doors for her. He seemed to have lost interest in bullying Severus as much as he used to. And well….

He was a bit softer. 

That was the only word Lily could use to describe it. He was still James, only less somehow as if something had knocked the recklessness out of him. Severus had at one point been convinced of them being up to something. Lily now understood what it was. And knew instinctively what her old friend would do if he ever found the information out. 

“Talk to Remus and Peter,” Lily says, “but I’m doing this with or without you idiots.” 

James raises an eyebrow. “What for, Evans? You’re the smartest witch in our year. If anyone could get out of trouble, it’s you.” 

“Because you clearly haven’t given any thought to what would happen if Sev ever finds out what you’re up to. He already suspects something because of whatever happened last year. You’re going to need an alibi.” 

“And why’s that got to be you?” Potter asks. 

“He hates you. He’d give you over to Azkaban in an instant. But you’re just trying to help Remus. If he thinks it’s me doing it, or I’m part of it, he won’t say a word.” 

James shifts uncomfortably from side to side. “You are frighteningly brilliant Evans.” 

Lily smiles. “Likewise, Potter. When you try.” 

Sirius claps his hands together. “I suppose then we’ve a group meeting to call, Prongs.” 

“I suppose you’re right, Padfoot.” 

She starts to back out of the room. “I suppose I’ll just be going then.” 

James walks to where she stands. “Evans, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m sure they’ll both say yes. Just wait in the common room. It won’t take but a few seconds. You can count on me. Got that?” 

“Who would have thought we’d ever be working together on something?” she whispers.

He shrugs. “Well, I did hope and pray, Evans. I did hope and pray.” James winks at her and Lily slowly exits the common room. 

Once downstairs sitting on a couch, Lily has nothing to do but wait. She watches both Remus and Peter enter the tower giving her wary looks before they head to their room. And then listens as the loudest fight that has ever occurred between the Marauders takes place. 

A fight so loud that it draws crowds. The younger years gather around the sixth year boy’s dormitory and the Head boy and Head girl are called. 

“Oy Evans!” Frank Longbottom shouts as he makes his way through the crowd of the common room. “What’s going on?” 

Alice stands next to him holding his hand. Their robes are mused and their ties skewed. 

Lily clears her throat. “A lot, apparently.” She gestures at their appearance causing both Head Boy and Head Girl to turn bright red. “I can’t really say. They appear to be having some kind of row.” 

“HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A BLOODY IDIOT?!” the sound of Remus Lupin shouting makes the whole of the once chattering Gryffindor tower go silent. 

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE WAS WATCHING? AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A LILY TRACKER ON ME, MOONY? SHE’S QUIET. SHE’S LIKE A BLOODY SPY,” Sirius shouts back. 

At that point Lily wants to pull an invisibility cloak over her head. Everyone turns to look at her. 

“THEN DON’T GO STREAKING THROUGH THE FORBIDDEN FOREST!” Remus shouts. 

“I WASN’T STREAKING!” Sirius shouts back. “I ONLY HAD TO STREAK BECAUSE SHE SAW ME. AND I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE TAKING FROM THIS, MR. STRIPS WHEN HE HAS FIRE WHISKY.” 

“ONE BLOODY TIME SIRIUS. AND THAT DIDN’T RESULT IN US NEARLY GETTING SENT TO AZKABAN.” 

Lily feels a bit better as the other years have now returned their attention back to the argument going on upstairs. Because of that she is able to creep her way through the crowd up to the sixth year boy’s dormitory. She knocks on the door. There’s no answer as the shouting continues. 

Finally, she takes out her wand from the pocket of her robes and whispers, “Alohomora.” 

The door unlocks. 

When she steps into the room she finds Peter cowering in the corner, Remus with a book raised, Sirius standing on his bed, and James sitting with his head in his hands. “Boys!” she shouts causing them to all look up at her. 

“Lily,” they all say in unison with guilty expressions on their faces. 

“You forgot to cast a silencing charm and the whole of the tower has heard you. Before you continue arguing over this matter you might consider doing such a thing lest we learn anymore about your nude fetishes.” 

“It was one-time Lily!” Remus insists. 

She rolls her eyes, then slips out of the room. This time when she exits there’s no shouting to be heard. When she goes down to the common room again, the crowd has dispersed once more. 

She sits there waiting for an answer. But the boys miss breakfast, and Lily has to go to class eventually. So she does. And it isn’t until she checks on them shortly after lunch that a single one of the boys emerges. 

Its James that does. 

James, who storms out of the room looking furious. Anyone that’s ever seen James on the Quidditch field knows that calmness isn’t one of his strong suits. But there’s something different in his look as he storms out of the sixth year boy’s dorms. A dark look. 

“Potter!” Lily shouts after him. “Potter, stop.” 

But James doesn’t stop. He keeps on walking, heading out towards the grounds. Lily follows as fast as her short legs will allow. “James Potter, will you please slow down and tell me what’s wrong?” she demands. 

He comes to a stop finally underneath a tree. Lily recognizes it as the same one he once hung Severus upside down by. James’s face is flushed, his hands are shaking, and there’s anger blazing in his eyes. 

“James?” Lily says. “It’s alright if they’ve said no. I can figure it out on my own. There’s no need to be so upset.” 

“It isn’t that,” James tells her. 

“Then what is it?” 

“Remus called me a reckless fool,” James says, “he accused me of only wanting you involved in this to show off. Thought I didn’t care if----“He takes a breath to calm himself down. 

“He what?” Lily asks. 

James pushes his glasses up his nose to keep them from slipping down. “If you know about us…then surely you must have put the pieces together. Everything that happened with Snivell---sorry, I mean Snape.” 

She frowns. “Remus alluded to something happening last year but he didn’t say what. And I do know that Sev was extremely interested in your goings on. Though things have been suspiciously quiet between you two.” 

He shrugs. “Well, I don’t exactly see you two passing love notes either.” 

Lily glowers. “You know there’s nothing like that between me and him. Don’t try to turn this into something it isn’t.” 

James rubs the back of his neck. “It isn’t. Sorry, that was low. I shouldn’t have said anything about you and him. It’s not my place. But the thing is…Remus well….” 

“What about Remus?” she presses. 

“He thinks you’ll get hurt because of him. And he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened last year. The others agreed. I was out voted. They won’t be part of it.” 

Something about his wording makes Lily stare at him. “They won’t be part of it?” 

He shakes his head. “I can’t say that I blame them really. It was bad enough us doing it. To involve more people…. but it’s just that I can’t stop thinking about what you said earlier.” 

“About wanting to learn to protect myself?” Lily raises an eyebrow. “What’s so remarkable about that? There’s a mad man out there trying to kill people like me. I’m only ashamed I didn’t think of it sooner.” 

“What if…. what if we formed a sort of club?” James suggests. “We could help teach people how to do it. Think of it. An army of witches and wizards that could turn into an animagus, all unregistered. You-Know-Who would never know what hit him.” 

“And it would protect people like me,” Lily says. 

“Exactly.” 

There’s a certain twinkle in James Potters eyes he gets when he’s up to something. Lily has seen it on multiple occasions. Although she never believed that she would be on the conspiring end of one such look. 

“I think that’s absolutely brilliant!” Lily exclaims, hugging him. 

The hug takes them both off guard forcing them to pull away quickly. Lily clears her throat. “I’ll think of some way for us to get messages to the group. You think of some way get people interested without getting us in trouble.” 

“Right.” 

There’s a brief moment where it’s just the two of them staring at each other. Until, finally, James turns away. “I’ll find a way to let people know about it. Oh, you know about the Room of Requirement?” 

“The one that’s always a bathroom when you need it to be?” 

“That’s the one. We’ll use that to train unless you can think of some place better?” 

“Sounds perfect.” 

They’re staring at each other again. It seems as if there should be more to discuss. As if there are words in hiding just waiting to come out. But neither one says the words they should be saying. Instead, they wave awkwardly at each other and leave. Both brimming with the happiness that comes of forming a brilliant plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In regards to the Room of Requirement, I figured the Marauders had probably used it on several occasions. Same goes for Lily who we all know probably pranked just as much as them and found some use for it at some point.


	3. A Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James receives a warning from Dorcas.

Minerva McGonagall had always been a woman with good observational skills. So when she saw two of her students interacting civilly who did not normally do such, it gave her pause. The elder woman observed from her office a red headed girl and a messy haired boy sitting in underneath a tree by the lake on a fall afternoon. She thought perhaps that there must be some mistake. 

“Lily and James,” she muttered, “merlin’s beard!” 

It might have been a mistake. She was up in her office looking down at the grounds. Yet it appeared that the two students were discussing something excitedly. A sight she never thought she would witness. 

Overcome with a sudden urge to take a walk, Minerva headed outside. And was spotted by no one as she transformed into a cat. A cat with glasses marks around its eyes. Minerva in cat form made her way to the tree where two sixth year-students sit. 

Perfectly positioned behind the tree, she watched Lily and James converse. 

The two students sit in the grass. Lily took something from her book bag that appeared to be a necklace of some kind. “I’ve made ten of these,” Lily explained, “it can sense when its sisters are near. Simple tracking charm.” 

James smiled as he took the necklace in his hand. “Simple tracking charm," he comments as the necklace dangles, “so we can find each other. What about contacting each other?” 

She takes the necklace from him. “That’s the brilliant part. I used a method similar to that of the two way mirrors you and Sirius use.” 

James raises an eyebrow. “You know about that?” 

Lily attempts to hide her face. “Well…. you might be a pain in the ass most of the time…but you do have your fascinating moments. Like the way you were able to orchestrate a prank while you were in detention last year. Also, Sirius isn’t very good at being secretive.” 

He chuckles. “No. No he isn’t. So you say the name of the person you want to talk to then they appear?” 

“That’s right. They’re all made from shards of the same mirrors. We won’t have a problem getting in touch.” 

“That’s brilliant.” 

James hands her back the necklace. 

A breeze catches it. “Keep it,” she says, “that one’s yours. It’s got your initial on it.” 

“Thanks.” He slips it on over his neck. 

There’s a wistfulness in his expression. Lily reaches up to touch his face. “Everything alright?” 

He shrugs. “Remus hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday. Sirius goes off on his own a lot. Peter’s…. squirmier, than usual. We’ve only got two more years left. Then we don’t know what’s going to happen. I just wonder if we’re still going to be friends after everything.” 

Lily pulls her robes tighter to her. “I know what you mean. Everyone says how excited they are about moving on but…things have changed. With everything that you read, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to get a job in the magical world. I could wind up living back with my parents. They’ve told everyone I’ve gone to this fancy boarding school on scholarship. That’d be hard to explain.” 

He fiddles with the necklace. “You could always be my trophy wife. I’m loaded, you know. And I think we’d make quite the handsome pair.” 

She laughs, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t think I’m quite the Mrs. Potter type, James. Besides I think I would quite like to do something to help the world. I don’t know what that is yet. But I want to be useful.” 

“I expect you’ll get it.” 

Lily tilts her head to the side. “What makes you so sure?” 

“I’ve seen you in action, Evans. You’re a sight to behold once you put your mind to something.” 

“And you are terrifying once you put yours to something.” 

He snickers. “Well, I’m trouble.” 

“If you’re trouble when you put your mind to something what does that make me?” 

“A visionary.” 

She squints at him. “Potter, I suspect that you are trying to flatter me.” 

He grins. “That depends. Is it working even a little?” 

Lily gives him a wink. “Not a chance.” 

They spend the rest of the day coming up with a list of possible students they might be able to convince to join. Neither one of them notices the cat watching the entire time. Nor do they see it slink off back into the castle. 

 

Once back in her office, Minerva McGonagall transforms into her human person. She goes to her cupboards and takes out a bottle of wine. The older woman pours herself a drink. She takes a quick sip before going to her desk and scribbling a letter. She ties it to an old barn owl that sits in the corner of her office. Then watches as the owl flies off into the night. 

The partnership of Evans and Potter takes people by surprise. Once the idea of teaching students how to become an animagus occurs they are constantly seen together. Sitting underneath the tree by the lake. Passing notes to each other. Hidden away in the library in a corner huddled over texts. 

They come up with a list of ten students that might be interested.

Lily lets James do the talking. Of the two, he’s charming, persuasive, and could talk an angel into going to hell if he wanted. They have a few people that pass because they are too scared. 

But in the end they manage to get five other students interested in the project. The project they are calling a ‘study group’. It seems to be the safest term so as to avoid suspicion. 

On the evening before their first meeting, the two sit in the library pouring over books. “How are we going to get enough mandrake leaves for everyone?” Lily asks. “The herbology Professor is going to notice.” 

James chuckles. “I’m so glad that in the midst of our illegal endeavor you have time to worry about something like how we’re going to get leaves for everyone. Evans, do you have so little faith in me?” 

“Potter, I didn’t think you knew what faith was.” The voice comes from Marlene McKninnon. She stands in front of the table with her lips pursed. The blonde wears a familiar leather jacket over her uniform instead of robes. 

James puts down the book he’s been reading. “McKinnon. The same could be said for you.” 

She snorts then pulls up a chair to their table. “You two are awfully cozy.” 

Lily pulls away, sitting up straight in her chair. Whereas before the two had had their heads bent together close so as to whisper to each other. “I wouldn’t say cozy.” 

“C’mon Evans,” says Marlene, “what is this? You two couldn’t be in a room with each other without getting into a snit.” 

James leans back in his chair, propping his feet up on the library table. “It’s a study session, Marlene.” 

The blonde raises an eyebrow. “Funny. I didn’t realize that’s what the kids were calling it these days. Now, Lily. The person that I was talking to earlier. What is this?” 

Lily catches James’s eye. He waggles his eyebrows at her. She gestures to her friend. And the two come to a silent agreement that Marlene might be trustworthy enough to let into the group. 

Lily turns to her friend. “We’ve come up with a plan to help people. With the war.” 

Marlene leans over the table. “How?” 

Lily slips her a book. Becoming An Animagus. 

Marlene studies the cover. Her eyes go wide. “You have to be registered to---“Lily covers her friends mouth with her hands. 

“Listen here Marlene, we’re not doing this for a joke. We’re doing this to help people. There’s a war brewing. And people are going to need a way to escape.” 

Marlene smiles. “Where do I sign up?” 

Lily looks at James and he takes a piece of parchment from the pocket of his robes. With a few taps of his wand, the list of names slowly appears in front of them. Marlene adds her name to the list of signatures. 

“Here you go,” Lily says, and she hands over one of the necklaces she’s been hiding in her pocket. 

Marlene takes it. “Pretty. What’s it do?” 

“We’ll contact you through that when we’ve got a meeting.” 

“Excellent.” Marlene eyes James up and down the way a cat might a canary. “Potter. Might I have a word with you?” 

James sighs. “I’ll be back in a second, Evans. I expect I’m going to get a warning.” 

“Of course.”

The two get up and Marlene pulls him by his tie over to a corner of the library where Lily can’t hear them. “What do you think you’re playing at?” Marlene demands. 

“Me? This was her idea! She wanted to learn.” 

“Yes. But she had to have gotten the idea from somewhere. And I know you Potter. The school might not know precisely what it is you and your friends do in the dark. But it’s no secret that your little gang has been up to something for years. You know what the world’s like right now. Lily can’t afford to get pulled into your mess. So help me, if she gets into trouble because of you I will Avada you myself. Got that?” 

James lets out a frustrated groan. “Why does everyone seem to think that I’m going to get Lily hurt? I’m not Snivellus. I’m not skulking about in secret learning the dark arts.” 

Marlene mock punches him in the shoulder. “No. But you are rash. And Lily does things with her whole heart. You’ve seen how she is about birthdays and holidays. Merlin’s beard, she built an entire replica of the solar system for astronomy that moved on its own just to see if she could do it third year. Don’t you remember?” 

He smiles. “Took up the whole bloody common room until McGonagall forced her to take it down because the planets went rogue.” 

“Exactly. And then she was crushed.” 

His face falls. “I hadn’t considered that.” 

“See, this is why I worry. Because you don’t think things through. What if you can’t do it? Or what if something goes wrong? Lily won’t ever forgive herself.” 

He glances at Lily who sits at the table watching them with a frown on her face. “I’ll take care of her, McKinnon. I swear on it. Long as I live.” 

Marlene shoves her hands in the pockets of the leather jacket that isn’t hers at all. “Good.” 

She starts to go but James grabs her by the shoulder. “Goes both ways, Mar,” he tells her, “you take care of him right?” 

Marlene sighs. “Potter, I might not understand Sirius most of the time. But there’s one thing I know. No one’s going to save Black unless he wants to be saved. Besides…. it’s not me he’d want saving him anyway. I’m a placeholder.” 

“He’s been with you five weeks. That’s got to mean something.” 

“You can have all the time in the world with someone Potter and it won’t mean shit if they’re not really there. Not when their heart is with someone else.” She grips something in her pocket. A piece of paper that makes a crinkling sound. “Remember what I said Potter. Remember what I said.” 

Marlene exits the library. When she’s gone, James heads back to where Lily sits. 

He tries to laugh it off. “Bit intense, isn’t she?” 

Lily smiles. “You’ll have to excuse Marlene. She and Dorcas have this crazy theory.” 

“Theory?” James says. 

Lily bites her lip. “Maybe I shouldn’t say anything.” 

James covers her hand in his. “Oh c’mon. You can’t say something like that then not tell me.” 

“Dorcas comes from a long line of seers. She doesn’t get visions often but when she does she’ll go into a weird, trance like state. Anyway, she won’t tell me what but she has this silly idea you’ll be my undoing.” 

He lets go of her hand. “Undoing?” 

“Yeah. Our first year she had a vision. She never went into the specifics but she woke up telling me I had to stay away from you. It’s one of the reasons I stayed away from you for so long, actually. And then after everything that happened last year….” 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, “I shouldn’t have kissed you. You were upset.” 

Lily pulls away from him, sliding her chair so that it’s facing the table. “It’s quite alright. It’s not every day you hear your friend using slurs against first years. I was crying, you were there, and as I recall I kissed you first. I should be the one apologizing.” 

Silence overcomes them. They can hear nothing but the scratching of quills and the turning of ancient pages. She takes a breath. “It was a nice kiss…. aside from the circumstances, of course.” 

James leans back in his chair, stretching. “Yes well. Potter men are generally known for bringing women to tears. It’s a gift.” 

Lily smooths out wrinkles in her skirt. “Well…. let’s decide what we’re going to cover in our first lesson then, shall we?” 

He nods. “Yes, let’s.” 

The two work late into the night. When they part, James is left with Lily’s voice in his head. “…. Anyway, she won’t tell me what but she has this silly idea you’ll be my undoing.”

Undoing.  
Undoing.  
Undoing. 

The word keeps him up, circling round in his head like a broken record. Finally, he wakes in the early hours of the morning. Using the Marauders map that he keeps on his nightstand, he finds Dorcas easy. 

She isn’t sleeping in the Ravenclaw tower either. Rather, she is in the owlerly. Getting up from his bed, James runs from the room to the owlerly. He gets there just in time to see Dorcas coming out of the door. Her dark hair went down past her back and she wore dark blue galaxy pajamas on. 

Upon seeing James, Dorcas lets out a sigh. “Marlene can’t keep her big mouth shut can she?” 

James swallows. “You’ve got to tell me. I’ve been thinking about it all night.” 

“I can’t tell you. Wizards aren’t supposed to know their own future. It’ll drive you mad.” Dorcas starts to walk past him down the owlery stairs. 

James tries to keep up with her. “C’mon Meadowes. It’s Lily. You know how I feel about her. The whole bloody school knows how I feel about her. I’ve loved her for years. And if something happens to her because of me…” 

The sixth year Ravenclaw takes a breath. “You aren’t responsible. Not directly. But I can’t tell you. That might change things. And I wouldn’t have even told Lily except she was there when it happened.” 

“You can’t tell me or you won’t tell me?” 

Dorcas pauses. “I’ve had visions for as long as I can remember. But nothing like this. So when I had it I went immediately to Dumbledore. He told me that visions are like messages from the universe letting us know which things are more urgent than others. In the case of you two…. it’s urgent. And spotty.” 

James steps in front of her blocking her path down the stairs. “Spotty?” 

“Spotty,” she repeats, “I’ve seen you happy. I’ve seen you very happy. But it’s brief and….” 

“And what?” James demands. 

“The briefness is what worries me.” 

“That could mean anything. That doesn’t mean I’m her undoing.” 

“True. But….” Dorcas pulls at the strings of her pajama pants absentmindedly. “Did you know that Lily had a summer fling with Fabian Prewett?” 

James stiffens at the name of the Hogwarts Golden Boy. He remembers Prewett. He was a few years older than them and had graduated. Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Head Boy. Top Marks. Currently in Auror training. Maybe already become one. A charming red head. “No. I didn’t.” 

“Yes. Well. Lily met him while she was interning at the Daily Prophet. She was working on some story. Anyway, the only reason they stopped seeing each other was because she went back to school. And he had work. But she mentioned he wanted to visit her over the holidays.” 

James takes a breath. “And you’re telling me this why?” 

“I’m not trying to interfere. But you have to understand…. Lily is my friend. My dearest friend, James. The universe might want you to be together. But the universe can be cruel. And Lily deserves a life.” 

“So you don’t think she can have one with me?” 

Dorcas says nothing. Instead, she walks on past him living him standing on the owlery steps. A pit fills his stomach. He had been getting so close. He had common ground with Lily. Finally. 

They were working towards something. 

And while he didn’t expect they’d be kissing again anytime soon…. he had hoped maybe…. someday….

But there were dark days coming. And maybe war wasn’t a place for things like hope.


	4. All in good time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first meeting of The Secret Studies occurs. James tries not to be an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occurred to me that I made a Pride and Prejudice (2005 movie version) reference about midway through the day and didn't make note of it. So here is the note.

Chapter Four  
The first meeting of their study group takes place the next evening. Lily paces from inside the Room of Requirement. There, the room has turned into a class room. There are book shelves and chalk boards. And mandrakes too. Everything one might need for a grand, illegal venture. 

James leans back in a chair tossing the snitch up in the air then catching it again. “Evans, will you relax? Everything is going to be fine.” 

“What if no one comes?” Lily says. “What if someone turns us in? Potter, this was a terrible idea. You should have stopped me! Why didn’t you stop me?” 

He stands up from his chair letting the snitch flutter around the room. “Stop you? This was your idea. Don’t turn chicken on me now. Besides, think of all the people we could help escape by doing this.” 

Lily bites her lip. “You’re right.” 

“Of course I’m right. It was your idea and you’re always right. Most of the time. Besides, the only part we’re really doing that’s illegal is not having them register. Most wizards begin training earlier than this.” 

“But if we get caught----“ 

“We won’t get caught.” 

She looks over her shoulder at him. “How can you be so calm about this?” 

He shrugs. “I suppose when it comes to getting into trouble I’ve become used to it by now. And Marlene said that she would come.” 

“Yes. Yes. Marlene!” Lily claps her hands together. “I forgot that Marlene said that she would come. And Dorcas.” 

Lily is surprised when James’s face falls at the mention of Dorcas. “You talked to her didn’t you?” 

“I couldn’t help it.” 

“Why would you do that?” Lily demands. “It’s only going to drive you crazy.” 

James wants to rage at her. He wants to shout that he asked because he’s in love with her. Because he always has been. Always will be. But Lily Evans doesn’t look at him as anything more than an acquaintance. He’s not even sure if they are friends. So he can’t shout. And he can’t rage at her. 

Especially given the information Dorcas had told him. 

Instead, he half smiles. “Lily, you can’t tell me something like that and expect me not to be curious.” 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“Then why did you?” 

She swallows. “I knew you were risking a lot by helping me. This was supposed to be a secret between you and the boys. For Remus. I didn’t want you to think that you were doing this for someone that hated you.” 

“Evans, I never believed you hated me.” 

She squints. “No?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” she asks. 

“Typically, when you hate someone you can’t make them smile. I’ve made you smile, Evans.” 

Lily opens her mouth to say something but is cut off by the door opening. The group of students they thought might most benefit from the secret studies enters. Marlene is first among them. Dorcas second. They are followed by Amelia Bones. And her brother Edgar. Two tall, skinny red heads. Then Iris Wick and Henry Mackenzie. It is small but Lily suspects they’ll be able to convince more to join later. 

Amelia and Edgars family come from a long line of Ministry officials. 

Dorcas’s seer abilities make her a target. 

Marlene’s parents are also Ministry officials. 

Iris Wick is muggleborn. She has black hair, and blue eyes. 

Henry Mackenzie is half-blood with a muggle father and two younger, squib sisters. He’s tall, scrawny, and blonde. 

Two Hufflepuffs. A Gryffindor. And three Ravenclaws. 

The group says nothing but they take seats at the desk that the room has provided for them. Lily and James stand in the center of the room. Lily looks to James, uncertain where to begin. She hadn’t thought that they would get that far. Or that anyone would come. 

Everyone stares at one another waiting for someone to speak. 

“Alright,” says Henry finally, “why don’t you tell us what this is all about?” 

 

James take a breath. He glances at Lily. “Take it away, Evans.” 

She licks her lips which have become very dry all of a sudden. “Me? It was just as much your idea as it was mine.” 

“Yes, but you’re the sensible one.” 

She narrows her eyes but regardless turns her attention back to the crowd. “Everyone in this room knows what waits out there. Our future is uncertain. A mad man is gaining power. And we need to be able to protect ourselves. I feel that the best way we can do that is by becoming an unregistered animagus.” 

The group exchanges look’s. 

Iris Wick is the first to speak, “But it’s illegal.” 

“Yes, but becoming an animagus is not,” James says, “and the ministry isn’t going to help you if Voldemort decides to take you out.” 

“What was that you said Potter?” Edgar demands shooting him a nasty look. 

James glares at him. “I said the ministry isn’t going to help you. It’s populated by greedy fucking rich, pureblood bastards. Wankers that are going to go whichever way the power does. Dirty aurors that serve only themselves instead of the people.” 

Edgar stands up from his seat. “The ministry isn’t corrupt, Potter. Anyway, what would you know about it? You’re not exactly disenfranchised yourself.” 

“Are you calling me a liar, Bones?” James challenges. 

Edgar steps forward with his wand raised. “You’re the one that used the word.” 

James raises his own too, his hand completely steady. 

Amelia puts a hand on her brother’s shoulder. “Edgar, don’t be stupid. You’re not going to fight James. He’s second in our class.” 

Edgar glances over his shoulder at his sister and lowers his wand. 

Amelia clears her throat. “You’ll have to excuse my brother, Potter. Our parents have been dealing with some trouble recently. Anything about the ministry tends to be a touchy subject.” 

James’s wand is still raised. 

“Potter,” Lily says, making him drop it with reluctance, “this isn’t a political debate. The purpose of this club is to protect ourselves. To have a network of people that can help us should trouble arise.” 

The two young men back away from each other. 

James puts his wand away. “Come at me again, Bones, and I’ll end you.” 

“Same, Potter.” 

No one moves. No one talks. Tension fills the room to the point that it’s almost suffocating. Lily rubs the temples of her forehead. Yes, it had been a brilliant idea getting involved with James. She was amazed that he didn’t just hex Edgar on the spot. 

Iris raises her hand. “But how are we going to get supplies? It isn’t as if we can go around asking for things needed to become an animagus without causing suspicion.” 

Lily gestures to the room. “We have everything we need here. This room provides what a person desires. Getting supplies won’t be a problem. The problem is whether or not we can trust you.” 

“We signed your little paper didn’t we?” Henry says. “And we’re here.” 

“Yes,” Lily says, “but as James said. What we’re doing isn’t strictly legal. You were all picked because you all have something to lose should the wrong sorts of people gain power. Once you start your training, there’s no backing out. So…. if you would like to back out now is the time.” 

No one leaves. 

Lily smiles. “Good. That’s very good. Then, James if you’re ready.” 

“I’m ready,” James says, “let’s begin.” 

The first lesson of the secret studies is an introductory lesson. Nothing remarkable occurs. But so engrossed in the lesson is everyone that no one notices the rat watching from the corner of the room. 

The rat doesn’t stay the entire time. In fact, the rat scurries through the walls of the castle. And doesn’t stop until it reaches the sixth year Gryffindor boys room. Where the rat promptly turns into a scrawny boy with watery eyes and mousy brown hair. 

“Well?” Sirius asks. “Were they shagging?” 

“Afraid not,” Peter says, “they’ve started some kind of club.” 

Sirius looks to Remus who had been sitting on his bed reading up until that point. Remus puts his book down on his night stand. “A club?” 

“Yes. With Amelia Bones, her brother Edgar, Marlene, and some others that I didn’t know.” 

“Holy cricket!” Remus exclaims putting his head in his hands. “He’s actually training her to be an animagus. And he’s gotten others in on his cracked scheme.” 

“Well, we didn’t tell him he couldn’t do it,” Sirius says, “we just said that we wouldn’t.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel any better!” Remus points out. “What if something happens to them?” 

“Then it’ll be James’s fault and no one else’s,” Sirius tells him. 

“He’s right,” Peter agrees, “we all told James it was a bad idea. But you know how he is once he gets something into his head.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Remus comments, “the idea wouldn’t have occurred to him if it weren’t for me.” 

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Moony,” Sirius says as he stretches his arms, “James is always the first person to do something rash. Besides, someone will find them out eventually. And the whole thing will be put to a stop. Peter, are you positive he wasn’t shagging Lily?” 

Peter nods. 

“Damn it. You know I’m beginning to despair over James’s romantic life. We might have to do something drastic boys,” Sirius says. 

“No!” Remus objects. 

“But---“ 

“No,” he objects loudly again. “If Lily and James are meant to be they will get together on their own time. And not a moment sooner. Leave them be, Padfoot. Besides, you are no relationship excerpt yourself.” 

“I’ve been with Marlene for----“ 

“Five weeks,” Peter cuts him off, “we know. We know. And we’re bloody sick of knowing.” 

Sirius chuckles. “Don’t fret, Wormtail. We’ll get you a girlfriend yet.” 

“Maybe I don’t want a girlfriend,” Peter mutters though no one hears him. Or if Sirius does he chooses not to comment on the issue. 

Remus sighs. “He’s a bloody idiot. He’s going to get himself killed.” 

“Yes well. We’re all going to die one way or the other,” Sirius says, “if he is going to die at least it will be in the pursuit of Miss Lily Evans. There are much worse ways to go.” 

Remus tosses his book at Sirius head making Sirius duck. “Moron.” 

“Arsehole,” Sirius responds with a grin. 

The two boys jump on each other and begin wrestling the other to the ground. Peter rolls his eyes at the two and slips out of the room. After sitting by the common room window for a little bit, Peter hears the sound of footsteps. 

“Alright, Wormtail?” Sirius asks. 

Peter shrugs. “You really think there’s anything to this Voldemort fellow?” 

Sirius takes a seat next to him. “I reckon he’s mad. That’s about it.” 

“It’s just that if James thinks that people need protection from him…. maybe I might need some too. I’m not a fighter, Sirius. And I’m not brave.” 

Sirius scoffs. “Don’t be daft, Wormtail. Of course you’re brave. You are a Gryffindor are you not?” 

“Yes I am. But I’m not much. Not compared to you three. And if something happens, I don’t know what I’ll do.” 

“Peter, you won’t ever have to worry about that mate.” 

“What makes you so sure?” 

“You’ve got us,” Sirius says, musing his hair affectionately, “and you’re always going to have us. As long as we’ve got each other Wormy, we’ll be fine.” 

“You really believe that?” 

“Course I do, mate. Now what’s say we sneak into the kitchens, hmm?” 

Peter smiles and the two teenage boys head out of Gryffindor tower together. And though he enjoys the trip to the kitchens, Peter can’t stop thinking. James and Lily had their own way of protecting himself. But if war were to break out what way would he have to protect him? Nothing. He had nothing. But he was going to change all of that. He’d make certain of it. 

The class ends just before midnight. The group waits five minutes after each of them leaves lest anyone should be suspicious of them. Finally, Lily and James are left alone to clean up. 

James notices that Lily hasn’t said a word. In fact, after her speech she was quiet throughout the whole meeting. “Oh c’mon Evans. You can’t honestly be mad at me for that? The Ministry is corrupt! Everyone knows it.” 

Lily collects the text books off the table and puts them back on the shelves. “I’m not mad, James. I’m disappointed.” 

“Disappointed?” he asks, feeling his stomach churn. “That’s somehow worse.” 

“Yes well.” She shoves the last book onto one of the shelves. Then faces him. “I thought you were different this year, James. I thought you were beyond antagonizing students. And why on earth would you want to antagonize the Bones’s? They’re family is powerful. And we need people like them on our side. I need people like them on my side. That isn’t going to happen if you’re fighting everyone we know.” 

“Sorry,” he apologizes, “I didn’t mean to. I’ll try to be better. I swear.” 

She walks over to where he stands and places a hand on his shoulder. “Swear on the Holyhead Harpies.” 

James frowns. “Evans, that is the meanest thing you could possibly do to me.” 

“I mean it James. Say, ‘I swear on the Holyhead Harpies I won’t pick fights for fun’.” 

He lets out a defeated sigh. Then raises his right hand. “I swear on the Holyhead Harpies I won’t pick fights for fun.” 

Lily grins. “Alright then. I’ll take your word for it.” 

“I’ve no bloody idea why I’m in love with you.” 

“I’ve no idea either, Potter.” She smirks. “C’mon. Let’s head out before Filch finds us. Don’t want detention, do we?” 

“Hang on,” James says, and he takes something from his school bag that sits on a nearby desk. 

Lily stares in shock as James’s hands disappear. “Is that what I think it is?” 

He nods. “An invisibility cloak, yeah. Family’s had it for as long as I can remember. Should be able to fit both of us in underneath. Used to fit me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter in underneath it all of the time. But you know. Puberty and all that.” 

“This explains so much.” 

James lifts up the cloak so that she can get in underneath. Together, the two make their way through the school in the quiet of the night. “So Evans,” James says, “heard you had quite the romantic summer.” 

Lily rolls her eyes. “Ah. I expect Dorcas told you about Fabian.” 

“A little bit, yeah.” 

“Not that it’s any of your concern but we did see each other several times. He was helping me with a story for the Prophet.” 

“I thought you wanted to do some good in the world.” 

“I do.” 

“Then why were you spending your summer writing stories for that rag?” 

“People deserve to know the truth about what’s happening out there, James. There should be at least one reporter on the newspaper staff that can’t be bought.” 

“What story was it?” James asks. “That you were working on.” 

“A muggle couple in my neighborhood was mysteriously murdered. The police couldn’t find out why. And I saw Fabian skulking about. The couple had a child that was showing signs of magical abilities. The child was placed in child services with the ministry. Fabian had some ideas about who had done it and…. I was just trying to prove him wrong. That’s all.” 

James stops walking and so does Lily. “He thought it might have been Snape, didn’t he?” 

“According to the aurors, Voldemort makes his new recruits do something to prove they’re loyalty. Fabian suspected it was Sev’s way of making a statement.” 

“What did you find out?” 

“He didn’t kill them,” Lily answers. 

“How do you know?” James asks. 

“Sev wasn’t home all summer. I don’t know where he was. I didn’t see him until I was at platform 9 and three quarters. When he looked at me like I was a complete stranger.” Lily blinks as if trying to get rid of tears. “Can we talk about something else? I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” 

James wraps an arm around her shoulders and the two keep on walking until they reach the Gryffindor tower. Once inside, James yanks the cloak off then stuffs it back into his bag. 

The two stare at each other. James laughs and runs his hands through his hair nervously. “Have a good night, Evans.” 

Lily sniffs a bit and chuckles. “You too, Potter.” Then, to his surprise, she stands on her tip toes and kisses him on the cheek. 

James blinks. “What was that for?” 

“For trying not to be an arsehole,” she says, and before he can do anything she runs off up the stairs to the girl’s dormitory. 

And James is left standing there, flummoxed, his hand on his cheek. James enters the sixth year Gryffindor boy’s dormitory completely dazed. 

“Alright there, Prongs?” Sirius asks from where he sits sketching something in his notebook. 

“She kissed me,” James says in almost a whisper. As if saying it louder will make it not real. 

“WHAT?” All three of the marauders shout in unison. 

“She kissed me,” James repeats as he takes a seat on his bed. 

“Surely you can’t mean Lily, can you?” Peter says. 

“Oh I most certainly do, Wormtail. It was a kiss on the cheek. But Lily Evans kissed me. Her lips touched my face.” 

Sirius raises an eyebrow. “Did you drug her?” 

James sits up at his words. “No, I did not drug her! We had a moment. It was beautiful. Our kids are going to be beautiful.” 

Peter chuckles. “I think he’s lost it.” 

“Then, are you on drugs? And can I have some?” Sirius asks. 

James tosses his pillow at his best friend’s face. “There were no drugs involved, Padfoot!” 

“Oof!” Sirius exclaims as he catches the pillow before it hits him. 

Remus grins. “Told you Sirius. All in good time. All in good time.”


	5. A Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorcas has a vision that leads to dire consequences.

Lily Evans doesn’t think she can survive having mandrake root leaf in her mouth for a month. Fortunately, James explains, it doesn’t have to be the same mandrake root leaf. But the mandrake root leaf has properties which help with the transformation. And those must stay in the body for a month. Unfortunately, the mandrake root tastes acidic and the smell is terrible. After longer periods of time, it only worsens. 

By the third week of having it in her mouth, Lily has skipped so many meals she’s lost count. And the smell is making. Her nose run. And her eyes tear. Her only comfort is that the rest of the other students aren’t managing well either. 

Henry Mackenzie begs to be let out three days in. “C’mon Lily,” he pleads, “there’s only room for one plant in my life. And her name is Mary.” 

Lily winces and rubs tears away from her eyes. “You promise you won’t speak of this to anyone?” 

He sniffles. His own face is red from the mandrake root too. “Lily, do you really think I want anyone to know about this?” 

“Fine. Fine. Just give me back the necklace when you can.” 

“I’d kiss you, but well….” 

“That’s alright, Henry.” She wipes away tears from her watering eyes with the sleeve of her robes.

“Thanks, Lily.” 

“Anytime.” 

Henry takes off the necklace and spits out the mandrake root. Lily wishes she had the luxury of doing the same but she can’t. Not with Dorcas’s dire warnings. Or the light, fluttery feeling she gets every time James looks her way. Though of course she’s not mentioning that to him. 

Lily heads out to the Quidditch pitch to where she knows James is holding practice. She sits up in the stands waiting for him. It’s a cool, October afternoon. And she has to pull her robes around her to keep warm. 

She clutches Henry’s necklace in her hands. And watches as James speeds through the air doing loop-de-loops with the quaffle in underneath his arm. 

That’s when she notices something strange not far off from the pitch. Iris Wick is conversing with Severus. Getting up from the stands, she is already half way there before she realizes what she’s doing. 

She’s being ridiculous. There’s no reason to be upset that Sev is talking with another girl. Except that Iris Wick is muggleborn. And a member of their secret study group. And there’s absolutely no good reason that Severus would be talking with her. 

The two of them stand almost in the same place where Lily saw Sirius transform for the first time. 

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Iris apologizes to her old friend. 

Severus shakes his head. “It’s quite alright. I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to your letter.” 

“You have to understand. I wouldn’t have accused you on the train like that but there were so many whispers….” 

“You don’t need to apologize. I know what everyone thinks.” Severus looks almost wounded. 

Lily hides behind a nearby tree so that she can listen to the rest of the conversation without being seen. If they haven’t seen her already. Although she suspects Sev would have long fled if he’d noticed her there. 

“What do you know?” Iris asks. 

“I know what everyone does. That your cousins were killed and they intended to kill the child as well. The difference is that I know who did it.” 

“Why not tell the aurors?” 

Severus snorts. “Surly you know why I was accused of the crime. The types of people I associate with. If anyone found out I was even meeting with you they’d have my head.” 

“How can you be so sure they won’t?”

“I have my methods. Do you want the name or not?” 

Iris nods. 

Severus passes her a piece of parchment. 

Iris pockets it away without looking. “Thank you. But might I ask, why did you help me at all?” 

“I am not, despite what people believe, so cold hearted to be at ease with the deaths of innocent blood. I wasn’t made aware of the incident until you confronted me. I’d been away from home all summer. There wasn’t anything left for me there. And I had things to do.” 

“Might I ask, why help me at all?” 

“I owed someone a debt. That’s all. That debt is paid.” 

“Aren’t you curious what I’m going to do now that I have the information about who killed my nephew’s parents?” 

Severus snorts. “What do I care? Haven’t you heard, Iris? I’m a heartless bastard.” 

“If you were a heartless bastard you wouldn’t have come.” The girl reaches up to touch Severus’s face making him wince. Then, with the wind billowing her cloak about, she heads back towards the castle. 

Lily’s stunned at what she just witnessed. She knew that Severus wasn’t guilty of the suspicious murder that happened the previous summer. She just didn’t expect that he would help the victim’s family. 

Iris Wick had been on her list of people for the study group because of the incident. Her research from the prophet had told her that the muggleborn had had one other magical relative. A cousin that went to Hogwarts. Iris was that cousin. 

Lily wasn’t positive what you-know-who could possibly want with a muggle born child. But she did know that if Iris was found to be related to the same one she wouldn’t last a day. 

“You can come out, Lily.” 

She jumps at the sound of her name. From behind the tree, she slips out. The two of them haven’t spoken in months. Not since that disastrous day after their O.W.L’s. When he had called her the worst thing he possibly could. 

“Satisfied?” Severus asks. 

“I hope you didn’t do it for me, Sev. I knew you weren’t guilty.” 

“Did you now?” he tilts his head. “Is that why you spent a summer skulking about my home with Fabian Prewett?” 

She clears her throat. “How’d you know? 

“Mum told me.” 

“Blast! I told her not to.” 

“Yes, well. She always has been one to disappoint.” 

“What were you doing all summer, Sev?” 

“Don’t ask me that and I won’t ask you about what you’re doing with Potter.” 

Lily’s fingers flex as she fights the urge to slap her one-time friend. “Don’t you do that. Don’t you make it sound like it’s something that it’s not.” 

“I didn’t imply anything. Only that Potter’s an imbecile and you could keep better company.” 

“James is a friend,” Lily insists. 

“But you know, Lily. You know what Meadowes said. And I won’t lose you because of that selfish arsehole.” 

“Don’t you dare call him selfish!” Lily shouts. “You want to talk about selfish, Sev? You ruined our friendship! You chose the Dark Arts over us. And don’t think I didn’t notice that you spent the summer with Mulciber instead of me. Mulciber! Whose treated me like dirt since first year. I was…. I was kind to you when everyone told me that I shouldn’t. That it was a waste! And that was how you repaid me!” 

Lily hadn’t realized how much anger she’d been holding in. It had come as something as a shock to come home that summer and find her friend just gone. “I had wanted to talk to you, Sev. To try to make things right. But then you just went away. How could you go away?” 

“Because it’s better that way!” Severus shouts. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be told your nothing your whole life? Do you? Well you wouldn’t!” 

“And this is how you prove that you’re not nothing? By joining ranks with pureblood, elitist scum?” Her heart begins to pound against her chest. And her hands start to shake. “What’s Voldemort want with muggleborn children?” 

Severus’s eyes seem to lose their light as she asks the question. “You were with Prewett all summer researching that case. You know what happened. You know why. It’s only going to get worse, Lily.” 

“Then why do it?” 

“Because I have to.” 

She is unable to stop from crying and hates herself for it. With the sleeves of her robes she wipes her tears away, sniffling a bit as she does. “Then, we’re done Severus.” 

He steps towards her. “Lily----“ 

“No. No. We’re done. And you stay away from Iris Wick! She doesn’t need the likes of you mucking about with her family. If I hear you even so much as looked at her the wrong way I will Avada you myself. Do you understand?” 

He says nothing. 

Lily whirls around, and heads back in the direction of the Quidditch pitch. She realizes that the team as long since come back to the ground and disappeared back to the locker rooms. Though one, lone figure does fly overhead. 

As she stands in the middle of the field, she watches the figure descend until she realizes that it’s James. 

She scowls. “You were watching weren’t you?” 

James lands on the ground easily. Then, leans against his broom stick. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to spy.” 

“Yes, you did.” 

“Well, only a little.” He smiles. “You two thick as thieves again?” 

She shakes her head. “No. I…I wanted to try to be friends again with him this summer. But he never came home. He was with Mulicber, James. Mulicber! That’s who he chose to spend his time with. And I couldn’t do it.” 

“Evans, you don’t have to justify yourself to me about why you’re not friends with him. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” 

Lily brushes back a strand of her hair. “I don’t know.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

She scoffs. “Don’t joke.” 

“Hey! I really mean it. I am sorry. No matter what I think of Snape, he was your friend. And it’s never easy to lose a friend.” 

“No. No it’s not.” She looks at him through narrowed eyes. “Why are you being nice?” 

“I’m always…” he pauses. “Well, I’m nice some of the time.” 

Lily chuckles. “Appreciate it Potter. Oh, and we had our first quitter today.” 

“Edgar?” James asks with a hopeful look. 

“Afraid not. It was Henry.” 

“Damn. I liked him.” 

“That’s not all. We’re going have to keep an eye out on Iris.” 

He runs his hands through his hair. “What for?” 

“Do you remember that story that I told you about? The one that I was working on with Prewett?” 

“Yes. About Snape and the baby.” 

“The reason I wanted Iris in our group is because I suspected she would have some trouble. The baby was her cousin. Her parents were muggles. And so were her aunt and uncle but for some reason the latter generations seem to have magical abilities. She was talking to Sev before I did. I have reason to believe she got the name of the person who killed her family members.” 

“You think she might want to become an animagus so that she can go after him?” 

“It’s a possibility.” 

James whistles. “Well, that’s fun. We’ll just have to keep an eye on her then, won’t we?” 

“I suppose so.” 

“How’s the mandrake root coming?” he asks. 

Lily winces. In the midst of her argument with Severus, she had almost forgotten that the miserable plant was in her mouth. “It’s awful.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Evans. The mandrake root will seem like a breeze once we get to the next steps. We’re going to have to work on patronus charms during the next meeting.” 

Lily groans. “You can’t be serious, James. You know how awful I am at charms!” 

“Consider this to be great practice, then, Lily. Don’t worry about it. By the time that I’m through with you then you’ll be giving me a run for my money, I expect.” 

“What does a patronus have to do with anything?” 

“It’s going to help us identify what type of animal you’ll become. Information we’ll need to know before we start brewing our transformation potions.” 

“What if your patronus animal doesn’t match your animagus?” 

“Then we’ll have to figure something out. But it’s rare. Almost all of the time, they do. According to McGonagall anyway. Sometimes a person’s partner can affect what their patronus is.” 

“What about their animagus form?” 

“That’s an excellent question. I hadn’t thought about that.” 

Lily glances back in the direction of where Severus had been. Some small part of her had hoped that he would come back after her. That they could start their friendship over. He may have given Iris what she wanted. And he might not have been responsible for killing those people. But he had given up on them as friends. And that was the worst betrayal of all. 

James walks over and wraps an arm around her shoulders. “C’mon Evans. You look like you could use a cuppa. How about we go to the kitchens and nick ourselves one hm?” 

“Sounds good.” She’s unable to stop the smile that creeps up on her face. 

The two of them head back to the castle together. Neither one of them notices Dorcas Meadowes observing them from the stands of the pitch. 

It isn’t that Dorcas has been spying on Lily. It’s that she’s been keeping an eye on Lily. She hasn’t been able to sleep for weeks since school started. The dreams seem to be getting stronger. 

Every night, it is the same thing over and over. 

A flash of light. Screams. And a baby. A baby with Lily’s eyes. Whose whaling cries that are worse than a banshee. Dorcas just wants to get rid of it. And the dreams keep on getting worse as Lily and James get closer. 

“Alright, Meadowes?” a voice says from the shadows. 

Dorcas looks up to see Sirius standing there. “What are you doing here Black?” 

“Looking into a suspicion I had of mine. Why are you following Prongs and Evans, Meadowes?” 

The young seer stiffens. “What makes you think I’d be doing that?” 

“I have my ways.” 

“And I have my reasons,” Dorcas replies. 

Sirius chuckles. “Alright, Meadowes. I’ll let you skulk about. Just don’t try locking them in a closet together. We did that fourth year. James had a bruise for a month.” 

Dorcas raises an eyebrow. “You think I’m trying to get them together?” 

“Well what other reason could you possibly have for watching them?” 

“Perhaps I’m a pervert.” 

“Perhaps. But I doubt it.” 

Dorcas jumps as a rat scurries past. “Ah! Gross.” 

Sirius smirks. “Don’t worry. They’re more afraid of us then we are of them.” 

“Suit yourself.” 

“You know that else troubles me?” Sirius ask. “Why are Lily and James suddenly being friendly?” 

“Well, Lily never really hated James. You know that. I don’t think she could ever hate anyone.” 

“No, but they were never exactly friends. And now they’ve suddenly been spending an awful lot of time together. Whispering about something.” Sirius brushes a strand of her dark hair back behind her ear. “You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?” 

Dorcas clutches the necklace that Lily has been using as a means of communication between the study group. The one made from the shards of a two-way mirror. “No. I’ve no idea what’s going on. Perhaps. Perhaps they’ve just found a way to be friends.” 

“Hmmm. Or perhaps they’re shagging.” 

Dorcas rolls her eyes. “They’re not shagging.” 

“How do you know?” Sirius asks. “Is it because you know something we shouldn’t?” 

“Look, the only reason I know it isn’t that is because I know how Lily spent her summer vacation which was not with James Potter. Possibly with someone better than James Potter.” 

Sirius steps back. “Now who could be better than James?” 

“Fabian Prewett,” Dorcas answers with a smug look on her face. 

The sixteen year-old boys face falls. “That git?” 

“He happens to be a respected auror now, thank you very much. And they were quite the cute couple. He took her flying.” 

“Now I know you’re making that up! Evans hates flying.” 

“No, she hates flying by herself because she had an incident with a bird first year. She doesn’t hate being flown by someone else. And being that Fabian was a former Quidditch Captain so I reckon he’s pretty good at it.” 

“Well, it won’t last.” 

Dorcas smiles. “I saw them together. They were quite cute actually. And he’s coming to visit her over the holidays.” 

“Lily and James are meant to be together. Mark my words, Meadowes. Even if I have to get them together myself it will happen.” 

She crosses her arms over her chest. “Is that a wager then?” 

Sirius puffs out his. “I suppose it is. By the end of the school year, Lily and James will be together.” 

Dorcas says, “Not if Lily and Fabian aren’t together by Christmas.” 

“They might get together at Christmas but they won’t last.” 

“And if they do?” 

“If they do, you can have my most prized possession,” Sirius says, “my broomstick. I’ve seen you eyeing it on the pitch. I know you want something better than what you’ve got and mine is the best.” 

“Alright. What do you want if you win? Which you won’t.” 

Sirius pulls a piece of what looks like a ripped out magazine picture. There’s a muggle driving contraption Dorcas heard Lily once refer to as a motorcycle. “You get your inheritance when you turn seventeen, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well, I’ll be lucky enough if I get mine. I’ve already been blasted off the family tree. I’ve been living with the Potters.” 

“I heard about that. What’s that got to do with the ridiculous muggle contraption?” 

“It’s called a motorcycle. I’ve seen what they can do on the road. They’re incredibly fast. And I want to see what they can do in the air. I think there will be a market for them if I can get one that will work. Consider it an investment. I might even be nice and give you shares in the company if you do.” 

She sighs, exasperated. “A flying motorcycle?” 

“Well, there’s a war coming Medowes. People are going to need ways to get away after all.” 

“Fine, fine. But only because I know for a fact that the last two people on this planet that belong together are Lily and James. And it’ll be a cold day in hell before they get together.” 

“Then I guess it’s about to get a lot colder.” Sirius winks. “Better get started, Meadowes. I know for a fact that Lily kissed James on the cheek several weeks ago.” He pats her on the shoulder then walks back towards the castle, whistling merrily. 

Dorcas feels a pit growing in her stomach. She rushes to the Ravenclaw tower up to her room where she does something drastic. She takes out a bit of parchment and a quill and writes a letter.  
Dear Fabian,  
I thought you should know that in recent months Lily has become rather secretive and distant. I am writing to you to express my concern over a dear friend. I know that you two were close over the summer. I thought perhaps you could be of some assistance. She has been close recently to someone as of late that I would deem a trouble maker. If you can write, please do. If you can visit, that would be better. I feel that you are the only person that she might listen to considering the close nature of your relationship. Please Prewett. I feel you are Lily’s last chance.  
Regards,  
Dorcas Meadowes  
She takes the letter up to the owlery and uses a brown barn owl to send it. As she watches the owl fly off towards its destination she feels a flicker of hope. Perhaps that night she wouldn’t dream of green lights or the crying child. Perhaps she could finally rest easy knowing that she had done what she could to save her friends. 

But she doesn’t rest easy. 

There’s green light again. 

Except for this time the green light is pointed at a fellow student. 

Iris Wick. 

She wakes, gasping for air, in the early hours of the morning. She grabs her wand from her nightstand and gets up from bed. Then, Dorcas slides on her slippers and runs. All of the way to the Gryffindor tower without taking a single pause. 

“Password?” the fat lady asks. 

“The password is let me in you fucking old cow or I will torch your frame to the ground!” she snarls, brandishing her wand. 

The portrait gasps. “Why I never!” But she swings open anyway. 

Dorcas runs up to the girl’s dorms to where Lily and Marlene sleep. “Lily! Lily!” she hisses trying not to wake the rest of the sixth year Gryffindor girls. “LILY!” 

Lily wakes up abruptly. “Merlin’s beard! Dorcas, what the hell is it? And this had better be good.” 

The young seer glances around. “I can’t talk about it here. Follow me.” 

The redheaded witch groans. “It’s cold. Can’t this wait?” 

“No, it bloody well cannot.” 

Lily slips out of bed following Dorcas into the hallway closing the door behind her. She pulls her nightgown around herself to keep warm. “What’s the trouble, Dorcas?” 

“I had…. well….” 

Lily furrows her brows together. “You had a vision?” she hisses. 

Dorcas nods. 

“Dorcas, if you tell me this is about James----“ 

“This isn’t about James. That’s another issue entirely. But might I add, for the record, it makes absolutely no sense?” 

“Dorcas.” 

“Yes. Yes. I’m sorry.” 

“Now, tell me about the vision.” 

“It’s Iris Wick, Lily.” 

The Gryffindor Perfect’s face goes pale. “What about Iris?” 

“She’s dead. Iris Wick is dead.”


End file.
